This poem is inspired by living with a chronic illness. In the fall of 2018, after multiple invasive tests since early 2017, I was diagnosed with chronic vestibular migraine disorder. This disorder altered my life; it is part of every decision.
Half-Life
Day by day.
The pain remains, fatigue defeats.
The only escape
is above my body,
in a transcendent mind,
to remove myself from the implacable restraints
to get things done,
to get something done; to talk, to listen, to work, to play.
Waking up my brain feels like peeling gum off the bottom of a shoe;
it feels like my body emerging from tar.
Head throbbing, the left temple drum, comes and goes.
The see-saw dizziness ebbs and flows, triggers known, triggers new.
But the heavy eyes, as if someone, or many someones
are pulling the curtains down before the show has even begun,
never goes away.
Please go away.
I caffeinate and transcend,
to try;
to see;
to live;
to enjoy this half-life of mine,
unrecognizable to the person I was pre-illness,
to glean hope.
Day by day.
KRISTI STRONG 